Every day for Brandon Hogan is a struggle.
He suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder, a mental illness he says is linked to his work as a firefighter.
“We are expected to be a certain way: Strong, tough,” he says. “We rescue you and not the other way around, essentially. That’s sort of driven in.”
Hogan, a firefighter by trade, says his terrifying nightmares, anxiety and personality changes started after a call in 2005 involving a young child. Hogan says he remembers the young boy die in his hands on the way to the hospital. The numerous rings on his fingers, a distraction technique he says helps stop him from thinking about that moment.
“Nothing prepares you for that,” he says.
“It was an acute incident that was buried and then after that I didn’t know how to deal with it and I didn’t know where to go,”
he says.
Experts say first responders are at a greater risk of developing PTSD than the general public because of the nature of their job.
Dr. Wayne Corneil is a professor at the University of Ottawa. He says first responders have to deal with death, tragedy and abnormal circumstances on a daily basis, something the general public rarely encounters.
“The prevalence of post-traumatic stress disorder varies anywhere between 20 and 30 per cent over a lifetime career,” he says.
According to the Team Conter Memorial Trust, a group that helps first responders and military members with PTSD, 4 first responders and one military member have committed suicide this year. 27 first responders commited suicide in the last half of 2014, the organization says.
PTSD among first responders, including police, paramedics, firefighters and dispatchers is well documented, Corneil says. However, he also says the issue was under the radar until recently.
“There is a fair bit of stigma attached to it and there was also, for a long time, not a lot of support for it in terms of workers compensation, and adequate support services.”
Now, Corneil says the Mental Health Commission of Canada and several other first responder groups across the country are working together to create a national program to help first responders deal with mental health issues related to their line of work.
It’s this kind of progress Hogan is looking forward to. He says he is telling his story in the hopes of encouraging others to do the same.
His message to his brothers and sisters: don’t be afraid to speak to someone and get help.
“It impacted the relationships with my friends, family and my marriage, no doubt,” he says.
Hogan has sought treatment, and has a team of doctors in Ottawa helping him. He says the path to recovery is long, but he is fighting every day to get there.
“It took a long time to get the picture together and it’s still not there. I have a long road to recovery still.”
