An Ottawa father apologized to his son today for having been a monster and begged his son's forgiveness. The 45-year-old former RCMP officer was then led away in shackles to be sentenced next month.

The man admitted he had caused much evil.  For the Crown, that's an understatement.  They are seeking the harshest of penalties for the extreme abuse against the little boy, while his lawyer says to keep in mind this man's mental state.

Right near the end of this 4 year trial, the father of 3 begged forgiveness from his oldest son who he had shackled, starved and sexually abused in the basement of their family home.

“Stating I wish I had died in a car bomb would be as close as I can get to my remorse,” he told court, “I have caused much evil and only God knows how much I regret my horrible crimes."

Through tears, the father then said he would lay down his life for his son in a second if it would erase all the sad and traumatizing moments his son has endured.

And court heard there were many moments.  For six months, he was chained in the basement, naked much of the time, his genitals burned with a BBQ lighter.  He weighed 50 pounds when he managed to escape in February of 2013.  His stepmother was sentenced to 3 years in prison.   The man’s lawyer, Bob Carew, told court that 5 to 7 years is an appropriate sentence for this man, with time and a half for the 14 months he had already served in prison, given the evidence from two psychiatrists about his PTSD, depression and anxiety.

“You’re not sentencing a normal person" Carew told Justice Robert Maranger, "you're sentencing someone with mental health issues."

He added that this man was heavily invested in his son but that this investment went to the extreme “where we are now, but he wasn’t a monster preying on children,” Carew said.

But Crown Prosecutor Marie Dufort said the only reason this boy is alive was because he managed to escape.

The Crown says most telling are the videos the father recorded of his son, naked shackled and shivering in the basement, pleading with his father, “While he is calm and methodical in his interrogation-style torture,” Dufort said.

They are seeking consecutive sentencing for the charges of aggravated assault, sexual assault, forcible confinement and failing to provide the necessities of life, and seeking 23 years in prison.

Ultimately, this man is hoping to reconnect with his wife and two sons.  To his oldest, he said hoped the boy will, “find it in your heart to forgive the father whom you still love; your father who will always love you.”

Justice Maranger now has a few weeks to go over years of evidence from this trial and will deliver his sentence on April 12th. 

APOLOGY

Your honour, No matter the apology I offer, it won't be enough to express my regret and sorrow for having abused my son.

But stating that I wish I had died in a car bomb would be as close as I can get to my remorse.

I don't have anyone to impress... I don't have an image to save or prestige to keep.

I don’t have anything to minimize or indulge in my defense.

Regardless of the medical incident of before, no excuse.. (inaudible)

I am not looking for pity or heroism. I have nothing to achieve for myself. I humbly and sincerely want to say I’m sorry for my cruel and barbaric behavior.

I am sorry for my son’s suffering, injuries, scars, visible and invisible.

I am sorry for his loss. I failed him in every way.

I am sorry for my atrocities and numbness. If I cry, it doesn’t mean that I (inaudible). And if I don’t, it doesn't mean that I have no remorse.

Ten months in segregation, 3 years on bail and two suicide attempts....I lived (inaudible) until I hit rock bottom.

I want to keep my apology humble, so please forgive me if I don’t explain the details of my path to repentance.

I have caused much evil and only God knows how I regret my horrible crimes and how remorseful is my soul.

I wouldn't hesitate a second to lay my life down for my son if it would erase every sad and traumatizing moment of his life.

In his honour, the one thing I could do is that I refuse to wear a hat like I usually do so it wouldn’t hide my face.

And I made this picture…because I wanted to crush every pride and uncomfort in me. And I wanted to feel the shame and humiliation of my horrible actions (inaudible) for my son

Nothing in my book justifies violence, even on the job.

And I didn't waver for 45 years. But at those insane moments I wavered and abused my son and ruined his life. 45 years of goodness.

Ironically I can't undo what I have done but I can hope with my sincere apology and with the loving help, my son can find closure and peace.

It’s unacceptable my behavior and my conduct. So I reached hopelessness and despair because I cannot take back anything and can no longer show my son that the monster is gone.

I have (inaudible) family and that’s my wife and our 3 boys. Although I lost my oldest son, and a part of my heart died with his loss, I am still a husband and a father to the two youngest. They are my only hope and I cannot survive without (inaudible)

Sgt. (inaudible) had told me that my son still loves me and I wish he would believe me when I say I love you too son. I am ashamed and very sorry for having been a monster to you. Please accept my deepest apologies and I am thankful that you are well and happy. I’m grateful and humbled by your love for me after all the hell I put you through.

I wish you success and joy and perhaps one of these days, when you are healed and ready, you will find it in your heart to forgive the father whom you still love, your father who will always love you.

Thank you